Cheesecloth face masks, coming right up



I posted this on Facebook.

I mean it.

I have plenty of cheesecloth.

I will do it.

I will force stores and government officials to begin nitpicking further to define what is an acceptable mask, maybe perform some actual legit studies on mask efficacy in the proces, but ultimately anger more people in doing so. I would relish the day when stores or governments can no longer hide behind anything being acceptable to defining and limiting what people can use. That should be fun.

I, not the CDC or Karen, also recommend:
  • ski masks
  • halloween masks
  • goggle and snorkel gear
  • pantyhose
  • kleenex masks
  • cotton candy
  • aluminum foil (shout out: Dr. Victor Von Doom)
  • loosely crocheted strings
  • a bra
  • a white pillowcase with eye holes cut out, which should really fly in the current racial state we're in
  • a fig leaf
  • use face paint to paint a mask on
  • a loose plastic bag (short term solution)
  • a Trump Halloween  mask or flat paper face cutout
I will gladly provide instructions on how to make a cheesecloth mask should it come to that, as well as a printable paper face mask of goofy design that can be placed on your face. Even if you have to double layer the cheesecloth to get enough woven threads to do any kind of sewing, you'll still be breathing really nice and technically, you have a face covering.

Comments

  1. I thought about the pantyhose option. You know, just to get that whole 70s-Abu Nidal-terrorist / bank robber vibe going on.

    And the cheesecloth idea is nice. Or maybe go a step beyond, to a small section of a volleyball net.

    I'm considering options. However, I'm thinking I won't do a Reductio ad Absurdam mask, even though it incorporates humor ... because I've pretty much lost my sense of humor on this whole business. To me, doing that sort of "mask" kind of feels like being a schoolkid, sitting in the back row and cutting up. I'm thinking it's time for the kids to just tell teacher, in a straightforward way, to go to Hell. No mask, no explanation, call the cops (ha!) if you don't like it.

    But in case my sense of humor makes a comeback, where do you get cheesecloth? Fabric store, I suppose?


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    Replies
    1. Ha -- volleyball net would be awesome.

      I've gotten cheesecloth at a craft of fabric store. You might even find it in some hardware stores if they have canning stuff (like Ace) because it gets used for that kind or thing at times. That's why I have it -- I used it when I made chokecherry syrup for straining.

      Delete
  2. Remembering my rowdy days in Jr. High I thought it might be fun to use a jockstrap as a mask. Do a google image search and you'll see they already have ear straps. You'll only have to cut out some eye holes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my. I never thought about that... 😬

      Delete
  3. hahah! I thought of a jockstrap but I guess I'm late to the party https://twitter.com/i/status/1246206902469459973

    ReplyDelete

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